PUTTING BOYS ON THE LEDGE
Stephie Davis

The only way to survive boys is to put them on the Ledge as often as possible.

Allie Morrison's older sister, Louisa, the resident expert on men, was the one who told us about the Ledge.

See, the Ledge isn't a real place. It's an emotional place. It's about making boys suffer, about putting girls in control. Louisa knows all about the Ledge, and she's quite the expert on putting men there. I think she said she had about forty-seven guys on the Ledge, at last count.

Oh, right. What's the Ledge and how do you put boys there?

Imagine a really tall skyscraper. Location is important, as I'll explain. We always have in mind this tall building on Storrow Drive. Storrow Drive is one of the main thoroughfares out of Boston, an access road to get the highways. Lots of cars moving pretty fast. Impossible to cross on foot unless you're in the mood to end up a pancake with tire tracks. Got the image?

Okay, you're back to imagining the building, teetering on the edge of Storrow Drive. Say you're on the twentieth floor, and there's a little ledge sticking out from the building. That's where the boys are. I know, I told you it wasn't real. Bear with me.

How do I explain this... Hmm... Okay. It's like this. You like a boy. He blows you off. You're feeling bummed out, because you like him and all. You're sort of thinking that maybe you should go out on that ledge and fall off. Then you'd land on Storrow Drive and get run over by cars and your spleen would get dislodged from your body and sail over to sidewalk, where someone would pick it up and rush off to the hospital with it for an organ transplant. So someone else gets your spleen while you're paper thin and covered in treadmarks. Why? Because you let some guy get to you.

Well, the Ledge isn't for girls. It's for boys. Instead of you feeling all bad about yourself because a boy blows you off, you're supposed to somehow get him to fall madly in love with you, and then you can ignore him, and then he gets all bummed and goes out onto the Ledge. Watch out spleen!

And even if you like a boy and he likes you, you always have to keep him teetering close to the Ledge so he never treats you badly. As long as you're holding the Ledge over his head, you're in control.

I have never put a boy on the Ledge. Neither have my best friends Frances Spinelli or Natalie Page. But Allie? She might only be fourteen like the rest of us, but she's learned a lot from her big sister, Louisa. Allie has put lots of boys on the Ledge. Of course, all she has to do is walk around in public and not smile at any boys, and they're all on the Ledge.

Allie is beautiful. She could easily pass for twenty-one. She has big boobs and curvy hips and this long blond hair that's just the right thickness. Boys love her. Men love her too. But Louisa has convinced her to keep putting boys on the Ledge for now, instead of getting involved with any one of them. I think Allie might actually use Louisa as an excuse and the truth is that she's simply not interested in settling down with any one guy just yet. Which is fine with the rest of us. If Allie went off and got a boyfriend, it would seriously interfere with girl time with the rest of us. We've been a foursome for twelve years, and I'd hate to think of Allie going off with some boy and leaving us a threesome.

Frances is also beautiful. Her mom is from Hawaii and her dad's Italian, so she's got this dark exotic look going. She never wears makeup and it doesn't matter. She has these long, thick eyelashes and she has no appreciation for them. Because Frances isn't interested in boys. Or so she says. Allie, Natalie and I don't believe her. We're going to try to tempt her into admitting she likes boys. It's our current agenda.

Natalie's also gorgeous. She runs cross country and track, and she's all skinny with legs that go up to her ears. Louisa tells us that men adore women with long legs, in which case Natalie's not going to have much trouble putting men out on the Ledge.

And then we come to me. Blueberry Waller. Could I get a worse name? My parents are eccentric, and I've suffered horribly for it. What kind of parents name their daughter Blueberry? I go by Blue, but I still get weird looks for it. And Waller? What kind of last name is that? I think I'll get married as soon as I turn eighteen so I can get a new last name. And I might change my first name too. I don't even have a middle name. The least my parents could have done was give me a decent middle name so I could scrap the Blue schtick and go by something decent. But they didn't.

So here I am. Blue Waller. Nothing exotic or fancy about me. No legs that go on for miles, no boobs that attract men of all ages. Just brown straight hair, freckles and brown eyes. Normal fourteen-year-old body. My breasts have grown a little bit, but they aren't enough to get the attention of any boys, unless I wear a really tight shirt and no bra, but my mom would never let me do that. The only advantage I have physically is that I'm short. Louisa says boys love short girls. Well, let's hope so or I don't have much of a shot at putting any boys out on the Ledge.

So here we are. One month into our freshman year at Hill High, in the boring town of Mapleville, Massachusetts.

We've been here a month. Thirty days to be exact.

And not one senior boy has noticed us.

Or junior boy.

Or sophomore boy.

Okay, fine, no freshman boys either.

We haven't contributed anything to the population of the Ledge. No spleens have been rushed over to the hospital for emergency organ transplants.

High school has not lived up to expectation so far.

Louisa swears it'll pick up, but that's Louisa. She's the kind of person who could turn a Saturday afternoon folding laundry with my little sister into a social event.

We're determined to follow in Louisa's footsteps. She's even said she might finagle an invitation to a party for us.

Now, that would be cool.

In the meantime, Natalie has been training with the cross country team, and I decided to try out for the musical.

Of course, I can't sing, but there's one non-singing part.

And when I was at tryouts...I saw the most amazing boy....