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Hi guys, I’m baaaaaack! Did you miss me? Sorry for the delay in my regular column–life kind of got to me. Today I’ve got a couple of great questions to answer, but first, I’d like to remind everyone that the second book featuring my fabulous exploits–They Wear What Under Their Kilts?–will be out in less than two months! How cool is that? You all have the date marked on your calendars, right? Just checking!
Question numero uno from Alexis B: I love your book TYMLWDTL. Can I write my book report about it?
My answer: First of all, what’s with this TYMLWDTL business? I mean, how are you supposed to say TYMLWDTL? Tymalwudatal? That sounds like some sort of disease pregnant women get! EEK! My book title is a DISEASE!
OK, calming down. From here on out, let’s just call it LOO, OK? It’s much better than Tymalwudatal.
Now, as for your question Alexis (and three out of five thumbs up on the uber-coolio name), the answer is of course you can do a book report on LOO! You don’t have to ask me! You do have to tell me what sort of a grade you got on it, though. Unless it was really bad. Of course, if you got a bad grade on something so fabulous as a book report on LOO, it obviously means your teacher was nuts. Anyhoodles, yes, go right ahead and do the report, and remember to tell the teacher that you personally wrote to me to ask. That should be worth bonus points, don’t you think?
Question numero deux from Caroline F: I was just wondering if those are the dates when the books come out in the states, because I live in the U.S. (Arizona) both my parent are from England and we visit about every other year.
My answer: The dates on Katie’s website (have you guys been there? It’s fabu, and she just put up a jigsaw puzzle of Orli that makes me scream) are for US release dates, so you’re totally fine with like marking up your mom’s calendar with notes to let her know when she’ll need to drive you to the mall to hit the bookstore. You want to know what I’ve found works with Old People? Pictures! So here’s a little tip from me to you–print out a picture of the book cover, or something else that’s really cool (Oded or Orlando come to mind), and paste it on the square for whatever date you’re going to mark for the book release. Then take a big red felt pen, and circle it, drawing three or four arrows to point at the date. If you have those sticky gold stars that little kids use, paste them around the date. Then no one will miss it!
And yeah, you can use that Remind Old People Of Dates technique on stuff other than my book release dates. Martha Stewart, eat your heart out, huh?
Last question! It’s not really a question, but hey, we have to be daring once in a while! This is from Jumi, who said: Sometimes it's just hard to believe that adults were like me and all my friends one time...like uhhh in the 60s and 70s...erkkk what a scary thought but still...
Jumi, I am so with you on this! Just the thought of my parents wearing bellbottoms makes me have to go lie down for at least a half hour. And here is a really awful secret, something so shameful I probably should tell it to anyone, but hey, you guys are cool, you won’t tell–my mother once went to a disco. WHEN THEY WERE NEW!!!!
Yeah, I know. That should be grounds for divorcing your parents, huh? But being a naturally sympathetic person, I try to overlook my mom’s faults, especially anything to do with her teenage years. [Am I the only one who gets majorly weirded out thinking about my parents as TEENS???]
What happens to Em in England?
Read the first chapter of The Year My Life Went Down the Loo
Read Em’s Sept. 30th journal entry
Read Em’s Sept. 4th Q&A on boobs and Brother
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